Jealousy speaks of you, not of the other

Jealousy speaks of you, not of the other

The jealous person projects a part of himself onto the loved one and cannot tolerate it being alienated or taken away even temporarily or even mentally. Hence many processes to the intentions, to the desires of the other. That said, it is important to know that:

•     A certain degree of jealousy is present in everyone and this is normal; the pathologically jealous person suffers a lot but also makes the partner suffer a lot;

•     those who are jealous tend not to change their behavior, even if this can make them lose their loved one; one does not cease to be jealous with the will.
  

•     those who are pathologically jealous do not want the happiness of the other, but try to establish a union in which the other is 'cannibalized' and deprived of autonomy and freedom;
  

•     the hyper jealous person is capable - and unfortunately we see it from the news - of physical violence ("if I can't have you, no one must have you anymore") and must therefore be directed to a psychotherapeutic path capable of restoring emotional freedom and a better balance.

•     If jealousy is sexual - and in most cases this is what it is - it is advisable to carefully evaluate the personality of the partner before reaching intimacy because afterwards it is dangerous to withdraw; the pathologically jealous personality does not know resignation, even at the end of the relationship it can come to persecute the ex but also to turn all the frustration he feels against his own person.

Pathological jealousy, while expressing itself in painful and psychologically disturbing behaviors, can be cured and healed. 

Those who suffer from it and are aware of this limitation should go to a psychotherapist to clarify the meaning of their behavior and be returned to a fuller and more satisfying life: what is the point of suffering and making people suffer if the cause is within ourselves and can be changed? It is enough to be aware that enormous mental efforts are not required, nor is it necessary to use the will, but it is necessary to accept to be helped.