We easily fall prey to despair and disdain: yet, changing course is easier than you think ... If you think it is necessary to correct yourself, you are off track.
When we fail to achieve something, our conscious mind always reacts in two ways: either by blaming the outside world, or by blaming it on ourselves.
It is a universal automatism: rational consciousness "lives" in a world of causal explanations, in which if something happens to me, there must be a cause, an explanation, a why.
So if I can't conquer a woman and live a relationship, either the problem is me, or contemporary women are all guilty unavailable.
Since it is difficult to support this last thesis, the first possibility remains standing: it is I who am wrong, I am not doing well, it will be a problem of autotomy or an unsatisfactory aesthetic aspect.
If we think in a used way, the solution is to improve yourself, work on yourself to become more confident, love yourself more and so on. It never works: as long as we stay on the surface of things (the conscious mind is the surface), we won't solve any problems.
The obsession with conquering leads to failure.
What escapes is the profound sense of what happens to us and we can only find this sense in the depths of ourselves, in the deep mind, the realm of the unconscious. In this "place" there are no explanations, no causal links, no improvements to be made.
But how does this unconscious mind manifest itself? For example, in dreams, but also through all those psychosomatic sensations that we usually call emotions: joy, anger, disgust, attraction, fear and so on.
What you should do is take note: I can't get a woman and I can't do anything about it. I yield, I surrender to this fact, I don't judge it, I don't comment on it, I contemplate it. In this way, one would quickly realize that something within oneself is boycotting attempts at conquest.
Why does such a singular fact happen? Because we are sometimes obsessed with the subject of "conquering a woman", and therefore we do not realize that we do not want Maria, Giada or Francesca, but "whatever woman".
So take care of yourself, the rest will come by itself because our soul hates this way of doing, hates that you live the relationship with yourself according to a logic according to which if I conquer I am a successful man, if I do not conquer I am a failure.
This leads to taking wrong paths and insisting on women who obviously don't want a relationship with us.
Taking note, perceiving, not judging but dwelling on the deep sensations: this is the only way to go out of the cage that we ourselves create.
Secondly, a good question to ask is: what characterizes me? What do I really like in life? What are my interests?
The advice is very simple: take care of yourself and not just the fact that you cannot conquer a woman.
This last problem will resolve itself spontaneously as soon as you stop thinking only about this problem and dedicate yourself to cultivating your most authentic nature.
We will never arouse someone's interest just because we want to; we will arouse it when our existence is harmonious with our nature and what we have to express.
Then, those who are similar to us will easily make their appearance: it is valid for everyone and for all.
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