Let's talk about "sick loves" and how to get out of it?

Let's talk about "sick loves" and how to get out of it?

Too many people, especially women, live for years imprisoned in sick loves: but getting away from these bad relationships is not difficult if you know how to do it.

What holds us back in a relationship that makes us suffer? First of all, the romantic idea that happiness can only come from someone and something. True love has another purpose: it serves to meet oneself. When we learn to do this, without trying to improve or change the sides of us that we don't like, then everything settles itself, including sick loves.

 A long time suffering from a troubled relationship: feeling bad because he cheats on you, feeling bad because he doesn't understand you, feeling bad because you keep wanting to make this relationship work but you get nothing. You know you should give up, but you love and you want to be happy. I know you could do it. That's how.

The wrong look makes sick loves eternal

When someone says that you feel bad because you live a sick love, because you have been betrayed or because the partner does not understand it, or for the thousand other "whys" of the couple, the truth is one thing: look at things with a external eye. The external eye is the one that fixes itself only on what happens outside, which lives in collective thought, which lives at the mercy of the world. It is the eye that depends, which undergoes precisely for this reason it makes the pain of sick loves chronic. And it is the furthest eye from the inner world, from the ancient brain ...

Do not resist, give in to pain to be reborn

In the woods, even among thousands of plants, each works alone: ​​firmly on its roots, welcomes water, light and nourishment, does not ask questions, does not comment on what happens: this is how a plant grows well. Learn to do the same too: no questions, no comments, just feel what is happening inside you. Is something making you sick? Don't fight it. It is performing a function: to separate you from your beliefs, to detach you from your romantic idea of ​​happiness linked to a relationship. If you resist, you make the whole process useless. If, on the other hand, you make room and stop struggling between the usual useless attempts like a butterfly around the candle, the pain you now welcome will take you beyond the Alexandra you are, it will give you a new Alexandra. Because the real game is you, it's not him!

Open other doors to the new: in this way you will bid farewell to sick loves

If you think that happiness comes from someone or something (such as a couple relationship) you are doing the whole thing wrong, you are paving the way for other sick loves. When is a relationship to end? When the time has come to abandon something about yourself, which you previously saw in him or her, but which is no longer functional to your development. Like trees that lose their leaves in winter. We are not made "to be with someone": we are made to meet ourselves. In your life, doors must open to new opportunities, new evolutions, new encounters. Travel and life companions are certainly important, but the only person we need to be comfortable with is ourselves. Being with yourself in the right way is the only game that really matters in life.

The attentive gaze makes sick loves fade away

The right way to do it, the right way to be with yourself is to empty, not fill. We need an empty person, more and more empty. "Was I empty today? Good. It's a good day."
"Empty" means that you no longer have a judgment, an opinion to give, a comment to make on what emerges in you. You no longer fight against your internal states, you don't want to correct things, you don't want to direct yourself. What others are doing does not interest you. The eye is attentive to the internal world. This is the right way to be with yourself. Nobody can make you happy, nobody in the world. And on the other hand, no one can make you unhappy, if not temporarily. The question to ask is another: "Are we realizing ourselves?". Because you can also have the man of your dreams, but if you do not know how to rest within yourself, you will not be able to fulfill your destiny. And you will not be able to get rid of sick loves, because you yourself hold them back and strengthen them. On the contrary, an open, lucid and aware gaze makes them fade to the horizon in no time.