Fixing oneself on the idyllic image of a love that has now ended is not only useless but chronicles the pain: saying goodbye to the past is the only way to start again and be reborn
How many times, when we are sad, disappointed and dissatisfied, realizing that in that way our life can no longer go on, we ask ourselves what we can do to get better? Many, too many. Although it can surprise and displace, in these cases the first thing to do is to get rid of the idea that "doing something", that is, intervening on one's life, can improve it. To feel good, the first step is to stop intervening and start seeing what happens now, not what “should happen”! Observe what happens, without wanting to change it. Thinking about what to do to improve, the path, the objectives, leads us astray because it makes us lose sight of the only real thing: what is happening now. The same goes for the past, especially for relationships at sunset. It is useless to fix our gaze on what is now finished; only by clearly clarifying what is inside of oneself in the present moment can the unconscious be allowed to help us overcome problems and pains. For example, if you can't not think about your ex partner because it seems to you that only with him you could really be yourself and every new meeting is a disappointment because no one is like him, you can say like this: "what is now inside me at this moment is my feeling tied to an image of love, a fixed image, always the same ".
The sense of abandonment makes you rediscover yourself
Continuing with the example, we understand that, more than the ex, it is the idea of love that she had when she was with him that she carries around like a ballast. So every time he goes out with a new man there is this image of love, which he made, which I disturbed.
So much so that she is looking for a person with whom she can truly be herself, that is, something that does not exist: what does it mean to be herself? The same as yesterday, the day before yesterday, a year ago? That itself is no longer there. Only what exists now really concerns her. Now in her there is no "he who left her: he is not there now, he left her in the past. In the present there is the sense of abandonment of him, the farewell that comes to visit her. She just has to perceive it and welcome it within herself.
If you do this, you change the whole perspective!
The soul gives a sense of abandonment because she wants other things than what you think you want, things that are not seen because you always have your gaze turned to the past. She wants her ex to come back because she thinks she can't be herself without him, and that belief makes her sick. Her soul, on the other hand, wants you to meet goodbye, to renew yourself and turn the page once and for all. These words should be said: “I am not the one who was left behind one day. I am the one who is doing what I am today ”. This is the right perspective: each soul has characteristics that attract or reject what is functional. It is a process that happens naturally, if you don't interfere. So, in life you don't have to tell yourself what is good or not, but simply observe what happens: you will notice the attraction of complementary forces or the distancing of situations and people who oppose your path. This is why love stories end. The secret to restarting is all in recognizing the processes that take place within oneself.
What prolongs a pain
The attempt to send him away immediately
The desire to go back
Ask the causes and the faults
What helps overcome it
Welcome it without comment
Just look at what happens in the instant
Have no expectations
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